By which I mean we’re open to the public now which is always a bit of a shock. There I am muddling along by myself and all of a sudden there are people trying to get into the off-limits areas and asking me questions and saying ‘when you’ve done that you can come and do mine! ha ha ha’ (if I had a penny…). I like having the public in, mostly because it’s always pleasant to have people complimenting you on your work. No-one ever walks up behind someone typing an email and says ‘lovely formatting you’ve got there’ but I regularly get complimented on my mowing. Which is nice.
It does mean I have to change the way I do things though and it takes a few days to get into the swing of it. Here are a few of the things I have to remind myself about:
1) Don’t swear out loud. Especially not during lunch break with colleagues in the Tea Room.
2) Don’t leave tools lying around. It’s bad Elf&Safety at the best of times, but if a small child amputates its nose with your secateurs you’ll have to buy a new pair and that’s just annoying.
3) Avoid using the ride-on lawnmower while the public are in. Sometimes this is not possible because the weather’s been unco-operative or time is short for some reason (like bank holidays). I like to avoid it though because it’s noisy and I prefer the garden to be quiet and calm wherever possible. Also I’ve had badly supervised children play ‘chicken’ with my mower which is not good for my nerves. I’m less strict about keeping the walk-behind mowers in the shed because there’s only so much that can be done between the grass drying and the public being given entry, besides people seem to like my traditional looking Atco mower, especially men of a certain age.
4) No noisy things at all during weddings. Usually I hide in one of the private gardens so as not to spoil anyone’s special day with my scruffy hide. As weddings get more and more frequent this requires better planning. For example this week I was caught out by needing to sweep the courtyard with my Big Sweeping Device and forgetting that doing it on the morning of a wedding is deeply inconvenient as the florists and others will need access.
5) Try not to let your scruffy hide be too horrendously scruffy. And remember to wear name badge.
6) Don’t walk around with earphones in the whole time. Yes, Radio 4 is addictive but it makes you seem unavailable.
7) Stop talking to yourself out loud.
Have I forgotten anything?