Tag Archives: Snow

The New English Glossary of Snowabulousness

Recently I was standing in the garden as flakes drifted down around me considering that we have a totally insufficient vocabulary when it comes to snow. Yes, we have lots of lovely adjectives, adverbs and swear-words that can be both or either but it’s not good enough dammit. So I have come up with a few new words to help with the lack of snowcabulary.

WARNING!! Accumulations of sarcasm ahead!! WARNING!!

First a relevant picture to illustrate our given topic:

Snowy trees

Ooh look, snow in Winter.

Snuprise! – Exclamation given when we get snow in Winter. Hold on to your seats for shocking news everyone but this happens nearly every year. Blimey.

Snizzle – The snow equivalent of drizzle. If it continues as it is, it will never really work itself into an accumulation. I am a wierdo who loves snow and if I’ve been promised snow by important people like the BBC I have been known to respond to snizzle by shaking a fist at the sky and shouting ‘You call this snow?!’

Snitting – Even feebler than snizzle, this is when one solitary, miniscule flake drifts down every few moments. It sometimes leads to people looking heavenward, pointing to the horizon and saying ‘it’s black over there’ in an ominous tone of voice and checking the met office weather app more than is ever strictly necessary.

Splotting – Vast wet flakes the size of a well-known brand of crisps floating down fast and thick but melting immediately because they’re so soggy and it’s several degrees above freezing. Hugely disappointing to a snow lover like me – like waving a pint of real ale in front of me and then throwing a pint of Fosters over my head.

Snowflizz – Small dusty flakes coming down quite fast. If it keeps it up for hours and it’s cold, snowflizz can quietly and sneakily work up to proper duvet-like accumulations.

Snidiot – the bloke who overtakes you on a snowy road in a big 4×4 who you secretly hope you’ll find in the ditch round the next bend. Except you don’t because then you’d have to stop and check he wasn’t actually dead and other such inconveniences.

Flakefrit – the state of being terrified of snow. People who are flakefrit drive at -3 miles an hour and overuse the accelerator when trying to get moving and the brake when trying to slow, thereby managing to give themselves the Ride of Terror trying to get up a gentle slope. This can be a temporary condition brought on by lack of experience or a particularly nasty snow driving experience (probably involving a snidiot).

Snowhawk – what happens when a driver is too short to reach the centre of the top of their car but tries to sweep it clear anyway giving their car a somewhat rakish snow mowhawk.

Snowpocalypse/Snowmaggedon – Snowy weather as predicted or reported upon by the UK press. OMG YOU GUYS – ARCTIC CONDITIONS – WE’RE GOING TO DIE!!!11!!! on one page. The next page is taken up by complaints that Heathrow/the council/trains/schools didn’t plan in advance for the reasonable expectation that we will have snow in winter. We should totally spend quadzillions on Sweden-like levels of infrastructure to deal with snow, even though we get it for a couple of weeks per year, rather than several months.

I do love our idiosyncrasies, particularly the weather obsession (which I share – that Met Office app is getting a bit worn down looking round the edges on my phone and I never shut up about the damn snow) but arctic? Really?

SARCASM OVER – it’s safe to come out now.

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~Yawns, stretches, awakens from hibernation~

Yup. I’m awake. Just in time for the cold weather according to the BBC weather site.

There was plenty of the white stuff on our Christmas holiday in Sweden…

Herb garden in snow

There’s herbs here – honest.

This was the herb garden at Skansen, an amazing living history attraction.

Things have been a bit chilly at work the last couple of days and I’ve generally done ‘odds and sods’ jobs in the morning and then, once the air’s a bit warmer, have got on with some rose pruning. We’re due for some snow which will be great fun if it really materialises. I enjoy clearing paths (yes, I’m a freak, this is not news) although once that task is done I’ll struggle to find useful things to do; I might have to resort to washing all the plastic pots in Jeyes fluid (groooan).

So, apart from snow, what’s upcoming? I’ve got myself one of those smart phone thingamijigs and am therefore intending to be a bit more active on twitter. There’s a tudor bed to plan and plant, the espallier apple trees to prune (I’m planning on doing a how-to post on the subject) and lots and lots of rose pruning. Thanks to the soggy autumn all the grass is rather long so I’m hoping for an early, dry Spring so I can get it all tidy asap. Have you, dear reader, got any particular hopes or goals for this year?

Hibernating

At this time of year I think many of us want to spend more time on the sofa under a warm blanket and so as I can’t actually hibernate, lacking the relevant physiological equipment, I’ve decided to hibernate my blog throughout December.

Barn in the snow.

Our first snowfall.

If you’re planning on pruning your roses over the next month or three you might want to check out my posts on pruning shrub and climbing roses.

I’ll be back in early January and am planning a post on training espalier apple trees and then there’s that Tudor bed to plant up, so don’t worry I’m not going away permanently – there’s far too much to write about for that!

 

Hurrah! Snow!

We got our snow on Saturday night. My sister and I seem to be the only adults who still squeal like children and get excited by the white stuff but luckily I was at my parents with her as it started to fall so we got to regress to childhood together as we prayed for enough of it to fall to be ‘proper’ snow. When I awoke on Sunday it was clear that this was, in fact, proper snow. So I grabbed my camera and went off for a wander in my wellies (alone – MrK was busy with schoolwork – sadface). These are my first snow pictures with my camera and aren’t very good – the originals needed some fiddling to make them even this good – but I thought I’d post them anyway.

Distant child in snowA distant child with sledge.

Fairy landscape of snowy treesFairytale trees.

Path through snowy gorseA path through the gorse bushes.

Gorse and barbed wireBarbed wire and gorse barbs.

Snowy landscapeSnowy landscape.